ok. today couldn't have been better. i feel like posting just because i feel like today was the last official day of summer, and it needs to be on the record. woke up, listened to car talk as i made banana walnut cinnamon heart sparkle cupcakes. jen vaf came to my house, we went to the lake, had a picnic, drank fizzy lemonades, ate lots of veggie tomato dishes, flew kites, lost the kites in power lines, ran after the kites, tangled up all the strings, came to my house, jen found free white boots in my size, got weird 60s crap for rothsd1, jen talked to my sister about brown and we all drank jasmine tea, watched deuce bigelow with my mom, and then i found my favourite jeans from freshman year of high school and they fit again! yes! someone please tell me when light wash flared jeans with unicorn embroidered pockets are in again...or if they were ever in.

on that note, i went through all my party clothes from high school. up for grabs if anyone wants: lots of sequined shrugs, lots of mini skirts, lots of charlotte russe sundresses. most things were probably worn once or twice in sleazy european discos. this may make them more or less useful to you. let me know. xooxoxxo

lot of love to everyone who gets this.
it's been more than a year, i've got a lot more good feelings to share.

my latest project...for all my globetrotting needs.

( travel in style! )

it's a wonder what you can do with couture knock-offs.

this used to be an icky louis vuitton knock off-bag with the rainbow lv print. now it's a pocketsbuttons original:


( a few more until my next project )

what they said was true.

it DOES feel styling to sport an l.l. bean turtleneck under your favorite sundress.

http://i35.photobucket.com/albums/d164/pocketsbuttons/IMG_1217.jpg
casimir pulaski

i keep everything. i make lists and then i list them. tonight i went through a lot of mementos from my awkward years. ok, my years that were a little bit more awkward when i was 15 than they are now.

there are a few highlights: i kept a list of every movie i went to and who i went to the movie with. a secret admirer note in spanish. poems from a real estate heir: "as i sit here, in ms. schiffman's class, i think of you, as i ponder through the glass." photos of my football boyfriend. me posing with a guy in a ski jacket who looks like snoop dog. a picture of my friends and me napping in the quad during lunch. oh! i forgot i did a little printmaking. also, a card with a happy frog on the front with nasty talk inside. there's a poem from the same heir about his thoughts on our homeroom losing the canned food drive: "i bought in 650 pounds of rice, surely i was to win. i brought it into room p-8 and placed it in the bin. we should have gotten 1st, but we came in 2nd place, depression made me cry all night and feel sad in this place." oh, my mother sent me letters from my goldfish when i was at camp. i had much longer hair and a much bigger ass. me in my lucky dress that i gave away yesterday. i didn't even keep a fabric scrap. i even had a separate journal to document every moment of puppy love.

box after box after letters, receipts, photos of every boy i ever liked (umpteen boxes of photos). i wish there was a consumer market for this stuff. it just makes me miss everyone all over again.

we went to temple yesterday. there was a band with a drum, guitar, and saxophone. very hippie dippy.
and i say to my dad, "the saxaphone player is very good."
and he replies, "phone sax in synagogue? it's true. all jews really ARE perverts."

oh, but california.


my little house, complete with a white picket fence my father built.

( and my little bedroom relics )

phew.
i just clean clean cleaned for seven hours. getting everything ready, like a criminal lineup of objects to say "goodbye" to. tapping folders sadly and saying "see you in a year. please don't go anywhere". scrubbing the unscrubbable, folding pieces of tissue into drinknig glasses, placing "see you later" ceder blocks on top of my blankets (go away moths!).

this is sad. i can't believe the year is over. i feel like nobody told me. like i've been walking around with toilet paper stuck to my shoe. and when you listen to the same songs, time doesn't move right.

goodbye singing squirrel lamp! goodbye latin dictionary! goodbye gold russian camera! please, do not get moths. please, do not meet a cute boy and leave your boxes. please, do not become stinky. please, pens: do not leak. and paddington bear, it is your job to make sure the paperclips behave themselves (you know what they can do without supervision!).

i've been thinking about summer. this means i've been thinking about three months starting tuesday.
summer is a good time to study. to teach yourself what you always wanted to learn but never found time or context for.

this is the list so far of what i hope to learn and do this summer:

1. my list of patron saints (for living in italy)
2. how to paint glassware
3. how to make pretty fabric boxes
4. how to install cabinets
5. how to drive on the freeway
6. at cambridge i am going to study modern women artists, dutch coloring techniques, and spanish masters. so, i hope i learn this.
7. how to punt alone
8. cross-stich
9. finally make my comic book
10.how to sew darts in dresses.

i can't believe i will have time to do arts and crafts. BUT! the trade-off is that i am going to be painfully, incredibly lonely.
i miss you all already.

mayfair was amazing. after months of work and a near-total mental breakdown, everything ended up making it one of the best successes i've had at sarah lawrence so far. thank you thank you for help, Saint Julian the Hospitaller, patron saint of carnivals. (my dad's name is julian, too).

ps. now i am allowed to have fun again! i am going to LOVE this last week of school like it's my job.
pps. once i get home, it's arts and crafts an music-making MANIA until i go to cambridge in july.

BEER PROM.

almost! almost! there.

i got my packet from cambridge university. i got into all the courses i wanted for this summer, and this is becoming a better idea by the minute. also, yesterday my mother and i agreed that if i were to put a basket on my vintage french touring bicycle, then i would be "a badass motherfucker." so, that's what the summer is looking like.

me in my mary janes.
you in your skinny jeans.

oh! yesterday! was perfect. i will make a little list of only a few reasons why:

1. i went to see puppies and kittens.
2. i went to central park to see the easter party and petting zoo.
3. i bumped into tim in a tie. he walked me a couple blocks. all the way uptown i went!
4. i have a new favorite museum. very favorite! and i DO make faces at museums even when i'm alone.
5. walked through harlem and i wished i had my own stoop. and lots of tacos.
6. played a trick on dan from a tall window in union square.
7. dan and i saw michael showalter and went through a farmers market (zucchini bread!)
8. we ate pizza by the pound! the owner gave us life advice (and advice on how to buy art?)!
9. we found a super used book shop. i sat next to a mushy newborn baby on the subway.
10.found mary poppins shoes, i called ben and he heard taxis honking over the phone.

but there was so much more. i got a funny letter from my pops, who has great faith in my ability to charm people at dinner parties. oh! and i saw god.

after a string of loser boyfriends in high school, i thought i would try something new. when i was seventeen, i thought perhaps i would only date boys i met in bookshops and galleries. i also thought freckles were a real mark of character, that janis ian was the greatest lyricist of our time. i would not eat walnuts because of union issues. i rode on the train for a half hour to go to my favorite burrito restaurant. my favorite book was "poems of jerusalem" by yehuda amichai. i cut off all my hair for yom kippur. i loved going to protests and wearing overalls.

what were you like when you were seventeen?

if i had my own little vegetarian restaurant, we would be closed today. i am sick. i would call annette, who bakes the zucchini cakes, and i would say, "i'm sorry annette. we ought to close today. i am sick, and the place just isn't the same when i'm not around." annette would sadly nod and flip the sign in the shop window. "closed." the boy in the striped sweater who comes for brunch every sunday would be very upset to find our little restaurant with its curtains drawn. he will have to go to denny's for hash browns and coffee, all while pining for our tofu breakfast burritos and english breakfast tea.

i hate being sick. i am always sick. currently writing a pop song about always feeling under the weather.

i recently found out just how short i am. this pleases me.
i recently found out how my voice sounds. this displeases me.

(i also have the worst case of spring fever, best summer plans)

p.s. my new favorite mix tape is a treatise on mix tapes.